Do they play chess, or Go?

The headline reads: Extraterrestrial Life Official Disclosure Imminentby Michael E. Salla, Ph.DHonolulu Exopolitics Examiner

World Chess Champion Emanuel Lasker once said, “If games are played by sentient beings on other planets, then they play Go.”

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What, not four dimensional tic tac toe?

Oh, but they must play chess.

The real questions are: What’s their position on Insufficient Losing Chances, Increment/Delay, and whether or not their equivalent of MP3 players are allowed in the playing hall?

And also: How many points do we have to add to the extraterrestrials’ rating to equal USCF rating for pairing purposes when they come to our planet to play?

What?!? No interest in the alien k-factor???

Will the female aliens automatically qualify for the US Women’s Ch.?

Are there rules regulating empathic ability or “mind melds”?

If their equivalent of a cell phone goes off, will the TD forfeit them and risk getting zapped? Ack Ack!

Will Fide require them to take drug tests? Oh, that’s right, Ilyuzhumov has already been in contact with aliens, so no problem. Never mind.

There must be some different rules, as even three-dimensional (with the usual two-dimensional rules) is a forced win for white (oops, X).

Bill Smythe

probably none of the above

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

Bill, you’re the math major, but as I recall from my undergrad days the even numbered dimensions for tic tac toe are a draw under perfect play. We had a computer program at Vogelback that was capable of playing up to 8 dimensional tic tac toe.

Sooo… If we have to tweak the k-factor just for the aliens… does that make it a Special-K factor??? Or because of the distances could we then say that k-factors move at warp speed? :smiling_imp: Mr. Sulu, plot a course for the Sicilian Dragon, k-factor 5. :smiley:

Well, every time I try to mind meld, the TD always busts me for 20-G. Turns out getting your fingers all over someone else’s face is considered annoying behavior.

Your pawns to my pawns… your King to my mating net…

What is the rush to play chess with expansionary lifeforms? The first encounter will probably be with von Neumann probes. Them you will face Berserker probes that will not just checkmate you. They will exterminate you. In the search for extraterrestrial life, no news is good news.