Greetings! Sorry if this isn’t the right place to post this request, but I’m trying to find an article that was in Chess Life within the past, oh, ten years, entitled “Casey At the Board.” It was a poem/parody of the famous “Casey At the Bat” and I was trying to find a hard link to a copy of it online (if one exists) or to find out which issue it was in, so that I can go an find it in an archives. It is certainly one of my all-time favorite things to appear in Chess Life, and if Pandolfini ever decided to update his “Best of Chess Life and Review” series to include a Volume III (I can dream, can’t I?!), it should surely be included. Any help would be greatly appreciated!
Is it a parody like those collected by Martin Gardner?
Well I struck out on my search … no … Martin Gardner doesn’t include it in his collection… the only one I found was this:
Casey at the Board
The clock said 8 o’clock that morn
And the bell had not yet rung.
The students started dragging in,
the game has now begun.
“Do you dare to try to teach me”,
their expressions all but roared.
“But have no fear, it will be done”
said Casey as he strode up to the board.
The glint in Casey’s eye was fierce
determination creased his brow,
He gripped the chalk and spoke real loud.
“The learning begins right now.”
The questions started flying fast
across the board the chalk did fly.
Then suddenly the peace was broke
with the dreaded question, "Why? "
“When will I ever need this stuff?
Why do I have to learn?”
“It’s too hard. It’s a waste of time.”
Casey mind began to churn.
He thought of many reasons
just why you need to know,
all the wisdom he dispenses
especially if college you will go.
“We’ve heard that all before” they say
you adults all tell us so.
But we know we’ll never need it’
it’s our lives, don’t you know."
Casey stands and taps the board,
his teeth are clenched real tight
the words begin to form themselves
in the mind so full of fight.
“I have not been there your life’
from the day that you were born’
but you will need to know all the math I teach,
on your test next Friday morn.”
“If you do not know the why s just yet,
the math you need to learn.
If you do not learn the stuff I teach,
next year you could return”
“If you did not like to sit and learn
while in this class this year.
I know for sure you’ll like it less,
if you repeat it again next year.”
“So if you do not like the work,
just trust me and get it done.
I guarantee, to take it twice
is an awful lot less fun”
Somewhere skies are sunny,
and somewhere people snored
but everyone does algebra
when Casey’s at the board.
Student’s now are laughing,
as the buses they truck out.
It’s 2:15, the room is dark.
Mighty Casey has snuck out.
by Geoff Weilert
I know the one you are talking about … but I feel reasonably sure it’s much older than 10 yrs ago. Also, I can’t remember exactly where I read it … whether it was in the CL mag or the older CL&R mag or perhaps one of the old books. sigh
I’m probably wrong but I feel like it was printed in a Chess Life & Review magazine back before it finally changed to simply Chess Life. (P.S. Once upon a time there were TWO magazines … one Chess Life and one Chess Review … later consolidated into Chess Life & Review and finally just Chess Life.) (P.P.S. Damn I’m getting old.)