Christmas Song Chess Filks

All Things Chess
1

A bit of Filk for your listening consideration. Freshly squozen, just for you! Merry x-mas! (x as in “Take!” Or “my brains were taken last move…” :wink: )

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“Jingle Blitz”

Dashing through the moves-
Getting through the game.
Pieces in the groove-
Laughing all the way (Check! Check! Check!)
Book moves I do fling-
Making pieces bright…
What fun it is to play and wing
G three all through the night!

Oh, jingle blitz, jingle blitz
Blitzing all the way
Oh what fun it is to play
The ten-moves-a minute way___!
Jingle blitz, jingle blitz
Blitzing all the way
Oh I hope my brains don’t leak
[On my PC] on Christmas Day!

A day or two ago
I logged in to I C C
Have not stopped playing yet
A thousand games on my P C
The modem’s smoking hot
My “fave” lines in my head
I hope I don’t get billed by loss-
or then I would be dead!

Oh, jingle blitz, jingle blitz
Blitzing all the way
Oh what fun it is to play
The ten-moves-a minute way___!
Jingle blitz, jingle blitz
Blitzing all the way
Oh I hope my brains don’t leak
[On my PC] on Christmas Day!

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“I’ll Be Playing the Ruy Lopez” (I’ll be Home for Christmas)

I’ll be playing the Ruy Lopez
You can count on me
To drift my Bishop to b5-
The classic lines and trees!

Move fifty-five will find me
Still in book you see…
I’ll be playing the Ruy Lo—pez
If you’ll play e5 to me!

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“All I Want for Christmas”

Everybody stops and stares at me
My old chess set? Beat up [as] you can see
I don’t know how my hor-sey died but he did you see
But my one wish on Christmas Eve
is as plain as it can be!

All I want for Christmas
is the Mammoth I-vor-y
The Mammoth I-vor-y
See the Mammoth Ivory?

Gee if I could only
own the Mammoth I-vor-y
then I could play with you!
“Hey! A Checkmate!”

It seems so long since I could play
Without my King looking like a Queenie!

Gosh oh gee, how happy I’d be,
if I could have those pieces! (rude noise!)

All I want for Christmas
is the Mammoth I-vor-y
the Mammoth I-vor-y
See the Mammoth Ivory?
Gee if I could only
own the Mammoth I-vor-y
then I could play with you!
“Hey! A Checkmate!”

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:smiling_imp:

2

No “Chess Nuts Boasting in an Open Foyer”?

3

Jack Frost roasting on an open fire,
Chipmunks nipping at your nose . . .

Oh, the weather outside is outside,
So I am staying inside . . .

4

Sadly I forgot that one. :slight_smile: Maybe next year… :wink:

You too, eh? Maybe it will be a White Christmas by the end of the day…

OK, one more…

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer,
Check Mate nipping your Knight’s nose.
Making moves with a face like Charles Boyer
From the tropics to the North Pole._

Everybody knows a opening and some fav’rite lines
Help to make the mate_ net_ right
Tiny moves with i-de-as from Fine
Will bring the trophy home tonight

We know that Santa’s on his way;
He’s loaded lots of books and programs on his sleigh.
And every player’s 'Base is going to say
How to get mate in ffity moves (if be it may)

And so I’m offering this simple phrase,
To kids from one to ninety-two,
Although its been said many times, many ways,
Love your chess_ [just] for you!

Postlude: One time I proclaimed before an audience of about 50 that I was a, “Chess Nut.” Unfortunately, my diction was slightly poor, and most of the audience heard that I was a “Chest Nut.” :astonished: :open_mouth: